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Judgement. We are all so quick to do it but man, does it stink to be on the receiving end.

Nothing prepared me for the judgement I would receive as a mother; especially by some in my "tribe". (Insert pathetic and self-pitying whine here).

Ever since our first was born, I have absolutely fallen head-over-heels with motherhood. Yes, motherhood comes with its trials (and errors), but for the most part, I have loved a majority of all that's involved. I've also fallen so in love with our children! They bring us so much joy and are experts at wringing every last ounce of selfishness from my self-absorbed body. (God knew what He was doing, didn't he?!)

I'm a naturally inquisitive and curious person, so as soon as that plus sign appeared, I began researching and reading everything I could get my hands on about childbirth and rearing. There was SO. MUCH. Oh my gosh. But on the upside, thank goodness we live in 2017, when there is so much great information (and lots of fearmongering information, too) and thoughtful/super helpful baby gear at our fingertips! Motherhood will never be the same. When we know better, we can do better, amiright?

I grew up in a family of five children and my parents, although very strict by today's standards, did a great job. They weren't too different from other parents back then and were so lucky to be parents in an age without Google. Okay, joking:-) They weren't perfect by any means, but the most important thing was we had a wonderful childhood full of love and sound moral guidance, and they created a home with a very good balance between being protective parents and letting us figure things out on our own. I hope to instill this same balance in our home as we raise our children. Again, there is so much more information that makes it obvious we know much better than when my parents did over 30 years ago. We know more about carseat and sleep safety, product recalls, vaccines, nutrition, toxic chemicals in personal care products, screentime, internet security/safety, abuse, trafficking, and all the other not-so-fun things to worry about as a parent. But again, thank goodness we know this information now!

That being said, with so much information out there in this age, how can anyone expect mothers to mother the same now compared to 5 years ago? 20 years? 50? You probably see where I'm going with this.....

I was warned about "mommy wars" between current moms, but nothing prepared me to be outspokenly critiqued and judged by older generations of mothers. I did expect them to offer their wisdom and advice, but never harsh criticisms and judgement. It's both perplexing and frustrating. And since our hearts really desire to be the best mom our children can have no matter what generation we mother in, golly does it hurt. Especially when it comes from a loved one we respect and admire.

Does this sound like something you are going through? Let me offer some encouragement.

First, GOOD JOB! You're doing a great job! How long has it been since someone has told you that? Feels amazing, doesn't it? I'm very rarely told that by other adults. Not that I'm constantly seeking affirmation and approval, but it feels good when it happens! And if it rarely happens to you, let me tell you this: in your domestic Cathedral, you are enough and God sees it all. He sees you wipe up the poop smudged all over your little one's crib first thing in the morning, for the 3rd time this week. He sees you brush away the tears when your little one is throwing an epic tantrum because they can't find their favorite t-shirt they JUST HAVE TO WEAR today! He sees you slump on the couch in defeat when you've received word that a family member, who you often try too hard to please and impress, continues to criticize you behind your back for how you're raising your kids. You're never good enough for them. It hurts. A lot. The point is, He knows your heart. You aren't working for them and there is nothing you need to prove to them. You aren't doing mother work. You're doing His work. And His opinion of you is all that matters.

Second, empathy. As Christians, we are called to be merciful like the Father. We're called to be charitable and forgiving. Just like we feel very misjudged in these situations because they don't know the whole story and may not know you very well as a person and mother, do we really know them that well? In times like this, I have to wonder: Where is this coming from? What was their childhood like? Do they feel guilty for how they raised their children? Did they have a poor or non-existent relationship with their mother/parents? Were they constantly judged and criticized for their mothering skills by someone close to them? The quote, "Hurt people hurt people" rings true in this case. Sin and brokenness are cyclical. So let the cycle end with you. Let peace begin where you are standing.

And as hard as it is to do, forgive them. They may continue harping on you, lecturing you, talking poorly about you behind your back, or saying cruel things about you to "poison the well" so others develop a poor opinion of you before they really get to know you. Forgive them again. It hurts and it's terrible. But again, it's not about you. It speaks volumes about what is in their heart and reveals possible hurts they've experienced.

In motherhood or any area of your life really, when things like this happen, I love praying the Litany of Humility. It packs a punch and is very hard to pray sometimes (okay, it's really a spiritual kick in the a#$). It really helps change the trajectory of our reaction to these experiences.

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I,
provided that I may become as holy as I should…

I also highly recommend the St. Francis Prayer. The passages, "Where there is hatred, let me sow love" and "not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand" are especially meaningful.

Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life

When these instances first began to happen, I was just angry at this person and kept trying to think about ways I could speak up for/defend myself. I began judging them through my reactions and assuming the worst in them, too! Needless to say, I was not in a good place, spiritually. Over time, the more sorry I've felt for the perpetrator. I can tell Christ has been hard at work in my heart.  Through prayer for this person, Christ has helped me see them as He does, and the humility that prayer brings has helped me see the pain behind their actions and the words they are saying. I may not know the source of their pain, but it doesn't matter. What matters is they are a beloved daughter or son of God who's just as broken and flawed as I am; just in other ways.

A couple of months ago, I began reading Story of a Soul by St. Terese of Lisieux. You really need to read this book! There are a couple of passages where she remembers being accused of something or someone spoke ill of her, and even though these things weren't true, she was so humble and knew they didn't matter. She knew that God saw everything and knew what was in her heart, so she kept silent and offered these transgressions up to God. Wow. I was blown away by her humility!

In any conflict; especially when someone sins against us, we have to remember that how we  react and respond reveals what is in our hearts, as well. I want others to see Christ and His mercy in my heart when I react/respond. It will take some hard work, but I'm willing to give it a shot. I hope you are, too. And when we're the "older and wiser", I hope we're all more supportive to the moms who we see ourselves in when our kids are having children of their own. The next generation of moms will know more than our generation did. But we'll ALL know three solid truths:

Momming isn't easy for anyone.

We're in this together.

And it is all SO worth it.

What lessons have you learned from motherhood that you never expected to learn? I'd love to hear yours!


Happy Feast of the Most Holy Trinity!

It's June 11th, which means we are getting SUPER close to meeting our little one!

While I've been busy nesting, I've been re-thinking what I'm packing in our diaper bag for a newborn this time around.

Here's a list I've narrowed down to from my first round as an over-prepared new mom. I hope it helps lighten your diaper bag load!

What's in my diaper bag

Diaper-changing clutch-I prefer this awesome gadget to just a changing pad and wipes from a diaper bag, because it's wrapped up with diapers and wipes so you can grab it separate from the bag and take it on walks, into a cramped bathroom, etc. You can also attach a little bottle of sanitizer to the wrist band in case there's no place to wash your hands after changing. Make sure it's stocked with 4-5 diapers and a packet of wipes. I love using this re-stockable wipe container and will re-stock it with a cleaner alternative of wipes once the first batch runs out.

Extra pacifier and paci-clip (if baby uses one)

Arm and Hammer Paci Wipes-these are great for wiping down dropped teethers, pacifiers, or bottle tips if you're nowhere near a sink.

Change of clothes (including socks)-because messes happen!

If you're breastfeeding, I love this non-toxic nipple cream by Mother Love. It comes in a super-small jar to save space in your diaper bag!

Wet-dry bag or gallon zip lock bag-to contain a fresh set of clothes and store the messy or damp clothes

The Microcube- This brilliant little invention is super compact and allows you to collect that first 2-3 oz of breastmilk during your letdown on the opposite breast from the one baby is feeding on. Instead of letting it get soaked up by a breastpad, this collects the milk for you. Quick tip-once the Microcube has collected the initial letdown, set it into a mug or into something to prevent it from getting tipped over so you don't cry over spilt milk;-) Pour the milk into a bottle for the end of the feeding to give baby those extra ounces, or store in the fridge for later!

Baby Calming Diaper Rash Cream-Beautycounter for the win, again! Their non-nano zinc-oxide, fragrance, soy, and nut free formula is super nourishing and doesn't leave a super greasy-residue; making it safe for cloth diapers! Their products bring such peace of mind knowing there aren't any toxic chemicals or skin irritants. If you or your littles struggle with eczema or other skin issues, I highly recommend the entire Beautycounter baby line! Tip: Use this for underbra-itch caused by excess moisture from breastfeeding!

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Snacks/food pouches for little ones eating solids

Bottle of hand sanitizer-I really like the Babyganics foaming sanitizers, which last a very long time!

Bottle or sippy cup-choose ones that don't have a million pieces to clean! Here are two options I LOVE and make life so much simpler!

Five Phases Bottles  

Nalgene Grip-n-Gulp Water Bottle 

Both options are BPA free and are SUPER durable if they get dropped or stepped on!

Powdered formula and bottled water-if not breastfeeding

Muslin or flannel swaddle-depending on season. These can add extra warmth in the carseat or stroller, provide extra shade, be placed on the ground for play, act as a burp rag or towel in a pinch. The Aden + Anais muslin swaddles are high quality and will last for multiple babies! If you need a lower price-point, Aden + Anais has a line of products called "Ideal Baby" that uses a lower thread-count-but you can hardly tell the difference in quality!

If it's summer, pack sunscreen and a hat! I LOVE Beautycounter's sunscreen stick. It's non-toxic and safe if accidentally ingested, and it goes on like a deoderant stick. You can hold your busy toddler still with one hand and there's no greasy mess! Plus, I love how small and compact it is.

Small nail clippers and file-I swear their sharp little nails grow overnight!

A few small books or toys

Phone charger

Teether- while you won't need this until baby starts teething, the chewable Rosaries from Chews Life are adorable and would also make a great Baptism gift! They are durable so you can also use it for your own prayer in your busy day-to-day without worrying about your little one breaking it.


Photo courtesy of


Happy Easter!

With baby number two coming very soon, I definitely find myself in the "nesting" phase. Washing onesies and blankies, sorting clothing by size, creating a registry (mostly for my own organizational reasons and to make sure we're budgeting for things we need!), and making sure everything is ready for when our little one makes their appearance!

This time around, since I have a little more experience navigating the world of baby gear, I've compiled a list of my favorite things from my first baby and with this one! I hope you find these suggestions helpful and if you don't see something on this list that you think should be, please leave your suggestion in the comments! If it makes a momma's life easier or more fun, I want it on this list! Also, I've thrown in some items that are conventional, and others that help us keep the most important thing; our Catholic faith, in our day-to-day as moms!


1. Rilos and Mimi Bibs

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Image courtesy of

Not only do they come in ADORABLE patterns, but they are made from non-toxic materials, are constructed super well, and have a washcloth material on the back. This allows you to double the bib as a wash cloth for post-meal messes. This will be fantastic to pack in the diaper bag without having to pack both a bib and wash clothes for clean ups! The price is also just right- $14 for a high quality bib. You can get yours HERE! They have other patterns and colors available, as well as other beautifully made baby goods!


2. Angelcare Movement and Sound Monitor

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Photo courtesy of Amazon

This was a favorite with our first one, but I cannot recommend this product enough! The Angelcare Movement and Sound Monitor brought me such peace of mind when we brought our first home. As a first-time mom, I had trouble sleeping because I was worrying if baby was okay! This was especially true when baby had a cold or had trouble breathing, or any other health concerns. This would also make a generous gift for parents who are bringing home baby after a NICU stay, and would like extra peace of mind that their baby's safety is being monitored while they can get some sleep. This monitor has a motion-censing pad that goes underneath their mattress, and will sound an alarm after 20 seconds if it doesn't detect movement-including baby's breathing. Just a warning-it may need some fiddling to figure out what setting is best for your baby's mattress, so a few false alarms may happen. However, I found this item was TOTALLY worth the investment! You can find yours for a great price on Amazon HERE!


3. BOB 2016 Revolution FLEX Duallie Stroller


Photo courtesy of Amazon

While this is a hefty investment, we already know it will be worth every dollar after putting it together and playing around with it. Jogging strollers, even if you aren't a jogger, are much easier to push and navigate all over the place-whether it's on the sidewalk, over a curb or uneven sidewalk, in the grass, or on the trail. Definitely shop around for the best deal before ordering. We found that these strollers and other baby gear usually have great discounts in January pre-baby shower season! Just two months after we got ours on sale, it went up nearly $200 in price! Also, for the past few years, all models of BOB's double strollers have been super high quality, so if you don't mind buying one used or getting an older model, definitely do it to save money! I've also had good luck finding additional accessories for the stroller used at consignment sales/stores. Oftentimes, simply ordering a color other than black will save you money, too!

When purchasing this stroller, don't forget to factor in a protection plan and the approximate $50-70 you'll need for the adaptor bar necessary for attaching a carrier carseat. BOB makes various models to fit various carseats. Before purchasing your stroller, make sure it makes an adaptor for the carseat you have. If you're an Amazon shopper like me, you can find a BOB 2016 model HERE.


4. Beautycounter Baby Calm Diaper Rash Cream

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Photo courtesy of Beautycounter

Mommas, I cannot recommend the baby line from Beautycounter enough! I may be a bit biased since I'm a consultant, but I fell in love with these products before I began referring people to their high-performing, EWG-verified products. I have annoying eczema, so I can use their baby line on myself and our little ones without any worry about toxic chemicals or nasty reactions on my (or their) skin.

Their recently launched Diaper Rash Cream is soy, nut, and fragrance free. It's safe for cloth diapering, and its active ingredient of non-nano zinc helps reduce and prevent redness. A little goes along way! This product is also fantastic if you have issues with itchiness due to additional moisture and leaks from breastfeeding. If you'd like to check out this and other fantastic baby products, go HERE!


5. Green Toys Tea Set


Photo courtesy of Amazon

Someone made a great suggestion to me that to ease the transition into a family of four, it's a neat and helpful idea to have the new baby "gift" something to the older child so they know they are very much loved and appreciated, despite how much attention the new baby is getting. For Easter this year, we got our little one this tea set and it has been a HUGE hit! Such a hit, in fact, that our little one was so obsessed she would NOT go to bed unless she could take a cup and saucer with her! Green Toys are made from recycled plastic, are food and dishwasher safe, and are free from BPA, PVC, and pthalates. They have several other high-quality and innovative toys, too! Like many of my favorite things,  you can find this on Amazon HERE.


6. Chews Life Rosaries


How adorable are these?! I so wish these were around when our first was born. Not only is it a great way to distract a teething baby, but it's also a great way to introduce little ones to the "Key to Heaven"! They also have decade bracelets and other adorable chewable items.

These Rosaries are made from soft, chewable, food-grade silicone, and beads are strung on organic cotton chord. All their chewable baby products are super durable, but accidents do happen, so please only use beaded baby products with adult supervision. They also offer FREE shipping on orders over $60! You can browse and shop HERE. This is an excellent idea for infant baptisms!


7. Catholic Baby's First Handle Bible and Baby's First Prayers

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Photos courtesy of The Catholic Company

We were gifted these books with our first. We take them with us EVERYWHERE! The handle on the book makes it super easy for your little one to hold onto and take with them. They are also very sturdy and are easy to wipe off if your little one's have sticky hands. Our little one loves all the colors, layers, and textures! You can find your copies HERE. This is another excellent gift for infant baptisms!


8. Beautycounter Body Butter


Photo courtesy of Beautycounter

If you're wanting something to pamper yourself while combating stretch marks, I LOVE this product from Beautycounter. Not only does it smell wonderful, it also adds wonderful nourishment and moisture to your skin. Pair this with Beautycounter's Baby Oil for extra oompf. All Beautycounter products are completely non-toxic and are scented using only essential oils. If you need someone to help you shop, message me!


9. The Catholic Feminist Podcast


Photo courtesy

I've really started enjoying Catholic-inspired podcasts that I can turn on and listen to while playing with our little one or getting house work done during naptime. It has really helped me grow in my faith amidst my busy life as a SAHM. This one started a couple months ago, and has been very thought-provoking and enriching! You can tune in HERE.


10. Bundle Organics Pregnancy Wellness Tea

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Photo courtesy of Amazon

This is a super flavorful tea that contains organic ingredients of Rooibos, orange peel, Cardamom, mango, blueberry, and coconut. The formula is USDA-certified organic, naturally caffeine-free, and OBGYN-approved for mom's wellness throughout pregnancy. It tastes great either hot or iced! You can find it for the best price HERE.


What favorites would you add to this list? Comment below!



I see so many moms-to-be on social media asking our tribe what they should pack in their hospital bag when they're going to deliver their baby.

I often found myself re-posting my must-haves, so I figured I'd just post it all here in one place so I can easily share it whenever the opportunity comes up! I recommend having your bag packed around the 8 month mark, just to be prepared.

For Momma

Flip flops

Warm robe to wrap around you quickly for taking strolls around the hospital while in early labor or post labor

Eye covers and ear plugs-because it's super hard to get any sleep with all the random lights and noises of a hospital!

Do not disturb door knob sign- Sometimes, your Labor and Delivery floor will require periodic checking of yours or baby's vitals, but if you ask, sometimes they will respect that you really just need a few straight hours of uninterrupted sleep! Putting this on the door will remind them or any unexpected visitors that you, your partner, and your new little one really need to rest.

Lip gloss or chapstick-hospitals can be super dry. I especially love the Lip Balms from Beautycounter, as all their products are completely non-toxic and safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding. You can find them HERE. The Rejuvenating Eye Cream is especially a treat because it soothes and reduces dark circles, wrinkles, and puffiness if you're sleep deprived. This is a huge treat for a new momma! (Hint-place the cream in the fridge for a cooling effect!)

Essential oils-if you're into these, finding one you really like can be super nice for calming and relaxing you, or for drowning out the weird smells of a hospital. Otherwise, an essential oil-based lotion works great, too! Make sure it does not contain peppermint, as this can affect your milk supply.

Warm socks

Water bottle with straw for easy sipping

Throat lozenges- for dry hospital air

Healthy snacks-for you and dad to munch on during downtime or when cafeteria is closed.

Spare change for vending machines

Hair brush

Hair ties

Contacts case, solution, eye glasses, extra contacts

Blow dryer-if you want to dry your hair, hospital hair dryers aren't usually that effective

Soft medium-sized towel/towels for your face. Hospital towels are full of bleach and can be hard and scratchy

Your own shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash, deoderant, etc.

Non-toxic wet wipes to wipe down post labor if you aren't able to take a shower right away

Adult diapers-yes, this sounds gross, but the disposable underwear and pads provided by the hospital are really awkward and don't stay put very well! A friend shared this advice with me for my first, and she was totally right!


Phone charger

Baby book, pregnancy journal, or small notebook/pencil-to record any special moments or memories and baby's first hand and foot prints

Rosary or any other special devotional

Print and bring this beautiful religious piece: How to Have a Baby

My brother, who will be ordained this summer, found this and sent it to me years ago. It is a beautiful and brilliant piece on the sacredness of motherhood and how close childbirth and motherhood bring us to Christ. It is a wonderful way to prepare your heart and mind for bringing baby into the world and it gave me so much courage and comfort during a time filled with so many emotions ranging from joy, excitement, fear, etc. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Nursing bras-I recommend buying them in cotton, to absorb any additional moisture from sweat or breastmilk. Also, I highly recommend investing in a good quality bra, so they give good support but also last through other children! I use Bravado bras and have been very happy with them. You can find them on their website or through Amazon.

Breastfeeding pads

Clothing for you to go home in. Make sure the waste band is relaxed and stretchy in case you end up having a c-section. If it's summer time, a maxi dress is perfect!


For Baby

Outfit for going home

Stocking cap

Warm socks or booties

Baby mittens/hand covers-their new little hands sometimes come out with super sharp fingernails! Keep baby's hands covered to prevent them from accidentally scratching their face.

Warmer clothes if it's winter and a blanket to cover them while in the carrier to the car.

Light muslin swaddle blanket for added warmth from the A/C in the car if it's summer time.

Carseat for taking baby home

At around the 8 month mark, make sure to have a professional make sure you've installed your car seat correctly and that straps are in correct place for baby. You can often find someone to help at a local police or fire department. Not sure how to correctly strap in your baby? Read HERE. Also, if it's winter, be sure not to strap infants in a car seat with bulky winter gear. This can be a safety issue.

Carseat mirror

This is so helpful so you can watch baby from the front seat while they're in a rear-facing car seat!

*hospitals usually provide all diapers, clothing, swaddling blankets, breast feeding supplies/pump, etc, for when baby is in the hospital, and usually send you home with some additional supplies. I recommend calling ahead and asking them, as each hospital may be different.

We received this awesome recommendation from our reader, Theresa:

"Even though I had all of my kids in the Catholic hospital here in town, there was not a Crucifix in the labor rooms. There was a Cross but not a Crucifix. When my youngest was born I finally had the forethought to bring a Crucifix and, let me tell you, that made all the difference in the world to me during labor. I doubt that is what shortened the labor... she was born after only 20 minutes of real labor, but that Crucifix made everything more meaningful after she was born."

Is there anything you would add to this list? Feel free to comment and share!




We now conclude our series with a moving interview with Kolbe's mom, Kim. I hope you've been moved as I have by the courage and beautiful witness to the dignity of human life that Kim and her husband Colin have shown by sharing the life story and legacy of their son Kolbe.

Today, I will ask Kim some very hard questions. She gives some very moving responses; responses that bring powerful perspective and voice to the mothers and families who've been through pregnancy and infant loss. Please join me in praying for all those who've walked or are currently walking this journey. Thank you for joining us. -Joan


How has Kolbe's life changed you and your faith? How has it made you and your faith stronger?


I am not the same person I was prior to having our son. He has completely changed me for the better. Because of his life and death I have really taken to heart how temporary life is and I realize how big of a gift that truly is. Because of the suffering we faced I have this strength I never knew existed. Because of his absence I will forever feel that pain of grieving him. Because of this loss I will have a greater respect and love for Colin as he showed and continues to show a strength I have never seen. These are all beautiful fruits of such a devastating loss.


A couple months after giving birth to Kolbe I went on a silent retreat in Nebraska. I went to the adoration chapel during the middle of the night and didn’t even know what to say. I sat there in silence. Our baby boy died and I had blood clots in my lungs. I was exhausted spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I just sat in the pew and cried.


Throughout my pregnancy I consistently heard the song, Oceans, by Hillsong United playing on the radio. I believe that this was a God incidence. The lyrics really resonate with me as they describe how my faith was during Kolbe’s diagnosis and beyond.

You call me out upon the waters. The great unknown where feet may fail.

And there I find You in the mystery in oceans deep my faith will stand.

And I will call upon Your name. And keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise.

My soul will rest in your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine.

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me. You’ve never failed and you won’t start now.

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.


As time has continued, Colin and I feel a part of our little family physically missing, but we can feel Kolbe's presence through the many graces God bestows on us. For example, we carried our miracle baby for 33 short weeks. I felt God’s presence in the significance of the number of weeks he allowed us to carry our son as Christ was 33 years old when Mary witnessed the death on this earth of her son.


How has your experience affected your pro-life convictions?


I think it is one thing to have pro-life convictions based off your knowledge and belief, but it is another to have these convictions based off of experience. Colin and I met on The March for Life in Washington D.C., but I never thought I would be in the position to experience these choices first-hand. If ever asked, I would choose Kolbe every time.


Seeing the ultrasounds throughout my pregnancy and seeing Kolbe’s progress in growth was proof of life at conception. He had rights the moment he was conceived. At my 12-week ultrasound he already looked like a little human in my tummy. I could see his heart beating. Why is it that a human with rights is declared dead when their heart stops and a baby forming in the womb (having a heartbeat 18 days after conception) is not considered human until after they are born?


What advice would you give to healthcare professionals when it comes to treatment of mothers and their unborn babies with dignity; both during pregnancy and after loss?


Help parents embrace their pregnancy. Don’t encourage them to distance themselves because of the pain that comes from grieving the loss of their child. This is by far “the sourest lemon” life has to offer, so acknowledge their courage in choosing to advocate for their child and help them in doing that.


As a doctor you see this type of sorrow that comes with parents being given a challenging prenatal diagnosis. I know it is hard to experience, but don’t be cold because you are scared of connecting with the mother and child. You are given a gift to be a part of such an intimate time of a family’s life. Be thankful for this.


In addition, be straight forward. Don’t give parents a false sense of hope in terms of their baby’s diagnosis. If you are doing this, you are just adding to the devastation they face when they don’t physically bring a baby home.


Lastly, when talking to parents about their baby; if they have named their child, say their child's name! So many times, my son was referred to as “baby”. For the last time, my son’s name is Kolbe, not “baby.”


How do you feel pro-choice views negatively affect society's treatment of mothers who've lost their baby from miscarriage or a prenatal diagnosis?


They don’t acknowledge our motherhood as they believe that a baby isn’t a human life until its birth. My son was stillborn, so did he never exist? Their views make me feel as if my son’s life has no significance. I feel robbed of my motherhood and I earned these stripes. During my pregnancy, I experienced what most mothers experience throughout the entire life of their child. So, why should my motherhood and his life matter less?


To the stranger in passing, they will never know of my motherhood. I walk around each day carrying my son in my heart and not in my arms. I feel the pain and loss of him that comes with this particular type of motherhood. Looking in the mirror, I see the scars left- the stretch marks (my Kolbe tattoos) and marks from endless times I had my blood drawn during my pregnancy with Kolbe.


These individuals who are pro-choice believe they are giving women, more specifically mothers, more “rights,” but they are robbing us of our titles and utmost dignity. They believe that the mother should have the right to choose an abortion to save her life if at risk. Don’t take the “easy road” on this as it may seem like a solution to a “problem” at the time. All pregnancies come with the possibility of health risks, but how could a mother destine her child to abortion? With that choice, you are taking away your motherhood and replacing it with the guilt that comes with not advocating for your child in the most vulnerable stage of their life.


How did you hear about Angel House Rescue Orphanage and what were your deciding factors in building Kolbe's legacy by supporting them?

Growing up I always said I wanted to open an orphanage. I never imagined my son would give me this gift.


This became a reality because of my husband, Colin. He is a business owner/entrepreneur and because of this we have grown to love the show, Shark Tank. This show is about individuals pitching their business ideas to the “sharks” who chose whether they would like to invest in their company.


Prior to my pregnancy with Kolbe, I remember seeing a company, Grace and Lace, on the show. They explained that they started an “accidental company.” They were pregnant with their first baby and at their routine ultrasound realized that there were complications. Melissa had surgery and was admitted to the hospital, bed ridden for the remainder of her pregnancy. With all this time that she would have she decided she would sew her baby a blanket. Unfortunately, two weeks after the surgery the Doctors could not stop her labor and their daughter was born. The doctors told them their daughter would not make it as her lungs were not developed enough at this point.


Her love for sewing and knitting began to grow. Melissa made herself a cute pair of boot socks. Everywhere she wore them, people would ask where she got them. She put them online to see if people would be interested in buying them and got four hundred requests. From there, Grace and Lace began.


Recently, ABC released a show called, Beyond the Tank. Basically, this show showcases the success of various companies that were previously on Shark Tank. Grace and Lace premiered on the show right after we were released from the hospital. They were having quite a bit of success with their company. They decided they wanted to partner with Angel House and have a portion of every sale go toward building one of these orphanages in India to house 50 orphans each.




I was curious so I researched if there was a possibility that the Kolbe Scott Fund could take part of the money raised and open a home. We are building a 12-child orphanage this upcoming June. It will take 12 children off the streets of India and provide them with a new life. This is all because of our little man, Kolbe Scott Hurd.


What advice would you give to other mothers who have experienced or will experience the loss of their baby?


First off, welcome to the club. I know you did not want to be a part of this club and neither did I. I have met, as will you, some of the most extraordinary women and mothers because of this experience. I know this doesn’t replace the emptiness you feel from your devastating loss, but it is a grace that comes from it.


To anyone experiencing an in-utero diagnosis or the loss of a baby; embrace it. Fiercely love your baby no matter how hard it is. Spend this time loving and nurturing your child while they are physically here. I know it is scary, but do it. Do things with them that you desired to do with them prior to the diagnosis. I am not going to lie and tell you that all of this does not come with suffering, but if you allow it in your life you will experience so much more beauty. I promise.

I wish I could go back to the moment we received the diagnosis and tell myself that it would be okay and we would make it through this together as a family of three.


Christ will weep with you and give you the graces you will pray for.


I would tell myself to be considered blessed as most women don’t carry babies with this diagnosis as long as I did.


I would tell myself that I am the luckiest mom out there.


To help the Hurd Family continue building Kolbe's legacy

by funding an orphanage, please visit: