The Birth of Kolbe Scott Hurd  

We were prepared for what we wanted when we got to the hospital as we had met with S.H.I.N.E. during our pregnancy and they helped us put together our birth plan. They also had molds and anything else that we asked for ready at the hospital for memory making items that we could take home so we didn’t have to think about all of that in the moment.

We arrived at the hospital around 7:00 pm. I took off my clothes and put the gown on and sat in the hospital bed. Colin and I had decided previously that Kolbe’s legacy was something that was really important to us. We wanted people to experience him even though he wouldn’t physically be here. So, once we were admitted we shared the Facebook page we created for him, @KolbeScottHurd. We created this page just days before our 33-week appointment in hopes of having it complete by Kolbe’s arrival, as we were unsure when that would be. On his page we posted pictures of our pregnancy and shared Kolbe’s diagnosis as no one had known, except our families, until we posted that. We told people that we were admitted to the hospital and that we would be giving birth to our precious baby boy. Our hope was to create a legacy, so if people felt inclined to support us they could donate in honor of Kolbe to the Crowdrise page we had created.

We sat in the room together unsure what to expect. Part of me was excited to see our beautiful son, but the other part knew that once he was delivered he was no longer going to physically be here. I would no longer be carrying him in utero. My pregnancy with him would be over and we would be left with the grief and suffering that comes with losing a child.

The nurses were great and accommodated everything we asked for. They kept us hydrated and kept Colin full. They suggested we get some rest and told us that the Anesthesiologist would be in during the middle of the night to administer my epidural. The door opened and he turned the lights on. He had me sit on the corner of the hospital bed. Before putting the needle in he stopped to acknowledge and empathize with what we were going through. He told us that he too had lost children. He had lost two at birth and he knew that this was not an easy experience to go through. He tried to give a glimpse of hope as he talked about his four living children. My eyes were filling up with tears. He finished and left the room.

The nurses came in and out throughout the night to check my blood pressure and administer drugs to help induce labor. Needless to say, we weren’t getting much sleep between that and the blood pressure monitor continuously going off. Around 5:00 am the OB/GYN who was specialing my case came in on her day off, before her morning run, to put in a balloon to help induce labor since I was not progressing on the drugs alone. Colin and I sat there waiting.

A couple hours passed by and my OB/GYN came back in. She removed the balloon and checked to see how dilated I was. I had barely progressed. She proceeded to break my water in hopes that it would help.

My family had been at the hospital for quite some time, so we had everyone come in to say hello. They brought plenty of snacks for Colin to munch on during the day, as I wasn’t able to eat at this point. We chatted for a bit and then had everyone leave so we could have some time together before I would start pushing.

We finally got to the point where I was experiencing contractions. Colin sat to the left of me holding my hand and watching the monitor to see when to help me calm down my breathing and get through the pain. The OB/GYN told us that unfortunately Kolbe was breech and that I would not be able to push entirely once his lower half was out. I wasn’t dilated enough at that point. We had to wait to push until I progressed more. I laid there for an hour and a half in the hospital bed scared to reach for Kolbe in fear I would hurt him. I finally started to feel the urge to push and was progressed enough to continue. He was born at 6:42 pm after almost 24 hours of labor. The hospital room was silent.

 Mother and Son 

The doctor immediately handed Kolbe to me. I looked down at my son. He was so beautiful. I held his limp and lifeless body in my arms. Nothing in my life prepared me for that moment. My eyes filled with tears.

I gently handed our son to the nurse so he could have a bath. She bathed him, clothed him in the outfit we brought, wrapped him in the blanket that was made for him by my mom, and left the room to give us some privacy with our son. Colin sat beside me as I held Kolbe and we read him the book, If I Were a Giraffe. I set him down in between my legs in the hospital bed. We just looked at our son pointing out the similarities he had to both of us. He was so beautiful. He had a full head of brown hair like me. We laughed over the similarity him and Colin had with their feet and how long he was. I think when he got older he would have looked a lot like his Daddy.

Both our families were in the waiting room, so Colin went back and got groups of two to come to the room to meet their nephew/cousin/grandson. Since Kolbe was so fragile I wanted to hold him the entire time. As people came in they were able to meet Kolbe and take photographs together. It meant a lot to Colin and I to have our families there to meet our son as this would be the only opportunity they would have. This was by far one of the hardest days we have ever experienced, but we had great support in the waiting room the entire time.

Everyone met Kolbe and it was just the three of us again. Another nurse on the floor then came in to do memory-making activities in our room- footprints, handprints, molds, etc. After she left, a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep came in to do professional photos of the three of us. I will forever be grateful for these photographs.

Everything that we had put on our birth plan was complete and a man from the funeral home was on his way to pick up our son. Colin and I sat there together switching off who was holding our son. We told him how much we loved him and how sad we were that he wasn’t physically going to be here with us. I remember the last time I kissed him on the forehead before he was gone. They took our son in his basket and covered him with a blanket through the halls and to the car.

I sat there in the hospital bed feeling completely empty, like a part of me was missing and I would never get it back. My belly, that once held our son, was empty. Colin and I were both exhausted. I felt so much pain- physically, emotionally and spiritually. I remember sitting and waiting for Colin to fall asleep. I had hardly cried that entire day as I wanted it to be a happy day meeting our son.

After he fell asleep I rolled onto my side and cried.

Please come back in a few days for Kolbe's Legacy: Part Five