I was at work and my cell phone rang. It was the OB/GYN calling. It seemed too early to know the results. I picked up the phone and walked into a private room. She told me that she got the results in. I couldn’t breathe; I prayed it wasn’t life threatening. She said it is confirmed that our son has Triploidy. I thought to myself, “This isn’t one of the ones that she listed as life threatening.” I gave a sigh of relief and said, “Well that is great news.” She said, “No, Kim, this is a life threatening condition and has a 0% survival rate. Your son will either die in utero or shortly after birth.” I began to cry and thanked her for her call. I immediately hung up the phone and called Colin. We both sobbed. This was not the news any parent expects and we were devastated. The rest of the day my eyes were filled with tears as I laid my hand on my 26-week pregnant belly and told Kolbe how much I loved him.

A week after we found out Kolbe's diagnosis

No one will ever know the difficulty and suffering that comes with carrying your baby and knowing that they will die. All the things I dreamed of doing with him weren’t going to be experienced in the way I imagined it. No one, except our families, knew about his diagnosis. I wanted Kolbe to experience a full and happy life regardless of any diagnosis he had. I didn’t want our pregnancy to be treated any different and that was a gift I could give him.

I continued having my regular OB/GYN appointments with both sets of doctors. I had started seeing a rotation of the doctors who were focusing on my prenatal care in case the doctor who was specializing in my case was not able to be at the hospital when I gave birth to Kolbe. I will never forget one of the doctors whom I met. It was right after Kolbe’s diagnosis. I had seen my high risk OB/GYN right before and she gave me a packet to give to this doctor.

I walked in and gave it to the nurse and asked that she have the doctor read it prior to my appointment. Colin and I sat in the exam room and he came in. He looked at my chart and I could tell he had not read the packet as he started to ask me questions. He said that our son’s measurements were a concern and that it didn’t seem like he was growing. We both said we were aware and that was due to the fact that he was diagnosed with Triploidy. He continued to tell us he wasn’t sure of that, as he had never seen a baby make it this far with that diagnosis. I said, "Well, I had amniocentesis." He said, “Oh, bummer.” Needless to say, that appointment was over.

No Heartbeat

The doctors said I would probably not feel our baby’s movement throughout my entire pregnancy. Well, Kolbe proved them wrong. I could feel him move almost every day. I would feel his flutters and I cherished these moments together as I knew it was only temporary. I remember one night, Colin and I were sitting in bed and I was uncomfortable, and I didn’t really want to be touched. Colin jokingly placed his hand on my stomach and within moments Kolbe kicked him so hard. We both sat there laughing together. I will forever cherish that moment as it was one of the only times Colin felt our son move.

The doctors told us the farther we progressed in our pregnancy, the more likely Kolbe would be born alive. We didn't want to take any chances, so on July 7th, we had a priest come to our home and we did a belly baptism. It was really important to us that Kolbe experience this sacrament.

I had been babysitting the weekend before my 33-week appointment. I was a little hesitant when we went to my doctor’s appointment, as I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt Kolbe flutter. I lay back as she placed the ultrasound wand on my stomach. Silence. She never had issues finding his heartbeat before. Tears were building up in my eyes and Colin looked uneasy in the chair across from me. Was this his time? Had he passed?

The OB/GYN took us to the ultrasound room to see if she could find a heartbeat. Looking at the ultrasound there was no flutter of the heart or movement. He sat there, still. The OB/GYN and tech left the room to give Colin and I a moment together to process. Our son had passed away and when I would give birth to him we would hear no cry and there would once again be silence.

The OB came back in and asked when we would like to be admitted to the hospital to deliver. We decided we wanted to be admitted that night. We left our appointment in tears and went home. Colin and I lay on the bed facing one another with both hands on my stomach, crying. He was gone. We grabbed everything we could think of to pack for the hospital as this would be the only time we would have with Kolbe.

Our goal was to make a lifetime of memories in the few hours we would have with him.

Please check back for Kolbe's Legacy: Part Four, coming soon.